Monday, February 24, 2003
EEK!!! 4 of the 8 boilers at school didn't work >.< the school was sooooooo cold! it pretty much stayed at 17C for the whole day.. Brrr... cooooooold...
Sunday, February 23, 2003
Me being stupid again. I did something that really hurted Allan. >.< I didn't mean to do that... =\ maybe I really shouldn't be that close to Dan... but that little Pichu seem to get picked on all the time.. ya I know he can probably take care of himself... but it's kind of sad to see no one stand by his side... *sigh* stupid me didn't think about the corresquences before acting again.... I shouldn't do that again.. yes.. I shouldn't do that again.....
Friday, February 21, 2003
I spent most of the day playing SC again.. I really shouldn't do that, I should really study... but.. *sigh* I'm sick and I don't wanna study.. I know I need to study. my mark is dropping very badly already... and I lost my hope of getting the award.. *sigh* what's wrong with me? why can't I get my act together and study?? *sigh* anyway.. Allan is really worrying me... he doesn't seem to understand anything, nor does he want to work towards that.. *sigh* what can I do? what can he do? I really hope he can learn... *sigh*
oh yea.. another note.. I got my bio midyear exam back today.. I did HORRIBLE on it >.< a low B.. that's VERY BAD. I think I should study more.. yes I should. *sigh* stupid me who can't read questions properly and make many careless mistakes.. *sigh* no more bio award for me....
heh, random notes about study block :P I can decided to call my study block sleeping block XD since half of the time I'm sleeping in that class anyway.. hahaha anyway.. a little thing about yesterday. I was talking to Allan (as usual) he said he is confused about our relationship. I hope somehow I can clear things up.. but I really don't know how that's confusing. I love him. I really do. and I know he knows that. but somehow, he think our relationship is confusing, and he is worrying about it. I really hope I can clear things up ever more. What can I do?
Another note on Allan. I just learned a bit about his history. Interesting enough, it scared me a little. But I know things have changed and he has grown up already, so, I believe he should be able to keep his temper under control. I know he can do it if he really wants to. Nothing can not be solved in his case. Everything is goes nicely in his life. (well of course after little "bumps" that is.. but overall it all works up nicely in the end) Umm.. yes I'm worried about him again.. I find it quite funny how I keep on worrying about him when I know he can take care of himself. Maybe I just love him too much?
Thursday, February 20, 2003
weehee!!! A day off from school ^^() I slept 'til 1pm today.. hee hee... me such a sleepy head... anyway... sleeping late all the time is baaaaad for my health... I'm getting more sick.. *sigh* I hope I will get better soon...
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Yes.. I cried again.. I really cried this time.. for what reason? I don't even know.. maybe too much stress really breaking me down.. I tried to be strong.. but nooo I'm not... I'm weak... but I often act strong to keep those around me from worrying... Can I really handle this? I hope I can.. I know I can?
Sunday, February 16, 2003
"Fade away like words in sand..."As time passes, everything fade away... Memories, passion, even love... fade away as time passes by. If in the end everything will just disappear, why spend the time to try to make some memories? Why waste the time? Yes, the old saying of "live the best you can". Is that really what we should do? Is that really how we should live? Even if it doesn't matter in the end? Everything will be gone... with time... (just some random thoughts.. don't mind me...)
Saturday, February 15, 2003
I was crying again. Crying because the sense of being left alone stuck me again. I have felt this before. It gets me everytime. I guess I am too attached to Allan. Just the thought of him leaving could cause me to cry.... The first time I cried because of the sense of loniness was last year around this time. I still remember that was when Jeff and I broke up. That nearly killed me. I cried pretty much everyday at school... anyway.. that's enough about the past. I don't wanna live in the past. The present and the future is what's important.
weehee! Finally it worked, thanks to Allan. ^^ Yippy! hee hee it looks pretty now... it's BLUE!! hahaha...
Friday, February 14, 2003
*pouts* ok.. shaw won't let me put this blogger on... and I made a tripod account.. and it's being mean.. it won't let me activate it yet.. waaa.. meanies...
ohh weeeee ^^ Finally Valentine's Day is here! This is the first V-day Allan and I spend together... I wonder what will happen. I'm sooo excited ^^. ohoh and I got a prezzie from Jon. ^^ it's a little cow dolly.. soo cute ^^. but on the other hand... I got my bio exam back today.. >.< I did horrible on it... I hope somehow I can pull the mark back up.. 'cause I still need a high mark to keep that early registeration day for UBC... I'm worried about my achedamic marks... I don't like this... not a bit. Maybe if I be less lazy and study more than I will have better mark.. but then ^^() it's hard for me to do that.. hee heee
Thursday, February 13, 2003
yes.. I got tired of Ezboard.. that's why I'm using this... but this is being mean to me.. I can't publish it.. *sniff sniff* I'll figure out a way.. I will... anyway... I'm worried about Allan... sooo many bad things are happening to him at the moment.. I wish I can help him, but I don't know how. *sigh* What can I do? I don't wanna see him being depressed.. I don't...
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